Switzerland tried to kill me.

Today we went to Lindau. Today I almost drowned.

I'd like to keep my dignity and say that I didn't, that I was just taking a small break, gracefully lying on my back in the water - but I wasn't. I was struggling and the boat we had hired seemed to get further away every time I glanced up from the water in a panic - because unfortunately unlike normal Australians - I can't really swim. After years of weekly lessons and school swimming competitions my swimming skills pretty much cover how not to die - Or so I thought, seems I may have overestimated my skills a little there... 


Luckily for me, Pascal jumped into the water to save his damsel in distress as she put more effort into telling people to stop asking if she was ok than actually keeping her head above water *cue dramatic splashing scene* Unfortunately it seemed to be an out of the frying pan and into the fire kind of situation, with Pascal deciding the best way to drag me back to the boat was by my neck - Fate had it that I was going to survive drowning only to be choked to death by my lifesaver. 


Now when you almost die your life doesn't flash before your eyes, you don't get to see what you did well or where you went wrong - mostly you just see water, and a lot of it... Then you drink said water and think about how gross that is because millions of swans, ducks and fish have excreted their waste into your current drinking source, not to mention all the semi-(and completely) naked germans swimming in the water all around you... Then you realise you need to die gracefully and try to look calm and peaceful as you give up on doggie-paddling your way to salvation. Admittedly any elegance I had retained by that point was lost through the sounds I made as Pascal semi-choked whatever life was left in me trying to get me back on board but -


 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySzgYVqk4p8

(Couldn't help myself)


The real challenge with drowning though, is actually surviving it - because then you have to maintain your dignity afterwards... Of course I tried to play it off as an act, pretending that it was really just an overly theatrical performance and that I hadn't really panicked, just wanted everyone to prove their loyalty... That didn't really work though and instead I had four people asking "Are you ok?" at once. Thank god the hero of the day - Ash - went on to tell me that he would have come to my rescue but he felt there was no reason for two of us to die when he's going off to travel at the end of this week... 

Luckily I recovered my usual pep by throwing Pascal's underwear into the water as he awkwardly tried to get changed, hoping to watch a passer-by swim right into them and distract from my shame. However it would seem gravity is no one's friend, and we watched them sink to the bottom of the lake through tears of laughter before he had any chance of rescuing them,. Guess who had to freeball it for the rest of the afternoon?


My hero.


Hope all is well.