But I had other hobbies (I'd say 'passions' but it's inaccurate and it's one of those words (like 'moist') that makes my skin crawl) growing up, mostly I've dumped them to allow time for drinking and spending far too much time on trains, but at least I tried.
1. I used to do tap, jazz and ballet. I know it's hard to imagine that this talented dancer took lessons for around 8 years - but I did. Mostly mum bribed me into going to dance class with horse riding lessons and shiny swarovski things - she had to - I hated the costumes, the teachers, the other girls and most of all I hated dancing. I was rubbish at it too, I can't think of a single time I was in the front row - and considering I was always the shortest.... Krystal and I set the dance room on fire once. Well, almost - sparks were flying. Some irresponsible adult left frayed electrical cords dangling right next to a socket...what were two seven year olds supposed to do? Lose out on an opportunity to cause fireworks and possibly cancel dance class? Never. So I dared Krystal to shove the cords in the socket and she did...the lights went out and sprayed sparks everywhere - our teacher made a strangled squeal and rushed us al out of the room - success! Krystal's parents later asked her if she'd jumped off a cliff because I told her to - answer? Probably, but only if it meant Ms. Lombardo would have to give up on ballet lessons for the week and send us all home early (she sent Krys and I away with the dance school's first ever strike - "strike two and you're out!") Luckily, my electrical safety skills have greatly improved since then - my dance skills however - have not.2. I played the violin for a while. I sounded like I was strangling a cat for about six months there - but in the two years that I played I'd like to think I got better - then I switched to the trumpet for a week, then to the oboe, then back to the violin before settling for singing because well, my friends were doing it and I was not immune to peer pressure.
3. Singing. I was much better at that. Although how good is difficult to say: I once got a last minute audition with the Australian youth opera - sounds more impressive than it was. I forgot to put in a request for an audition because I thought they were open and I only got one by default when another girl cancelled - shows my dedication really. I learned my song that day, wandered into the waiting room and immediately realised I was out of my depth. I was surrounded by prissy, pretentious prima donnas practising their scales. I kind of coughed a bit, prayed for the best and waddled into the audition room trying to look prim. Unfortunately I was so concentrated on trying not to look like a lost child in a school uniform among a sea of girls in formal dresses with their hair and makeup done, that I forgot to sing. Luckily, the old dude running the auditions forgave me and let me mess up the song a further three times before he started to interview me. He asked me my name, I asked him his - the whole audition board laughed hysterically...that old guy? Richard Gill - Head of Opera Australia. My bad. He then asked me about my favourite operas and singers - I'd never seen an opera and my knowledge of opera singers was limited to Pavarotti - and by that I mean I knew his name...So I told the truth. I told him that I didn't listen to opera and I didn't really plan on starting. I told him that I was listening to the Presets and System of a down on the way to the audition and that I really liked Rise Against's new album. Needless to say, he was a little confused.
Somehow I didn't get into the youth opera...probably for the best.
Hope all is well.
