Friday, February 13, 2015

If photosynthesis is good enough for them, it's good enough for me.

Can we talk semantics for a moment?

Real. Just as I dislike the incorrect use of the word 'literally', I strongly disapprove of the incorrect use of the word 'real'. Let me paint you a picture:

All over the world, places like New York and Melbourne are currently being hijacked by paleo-proud, green smoothie drinking hipsters and health nuts alike. I have no problem with people wanting to be healthy - all power to you - but do you have to tell Every. Single. Person. About. It? I know you see avocado and spinach as being superfoods, that will somehow magically help you grow a unicorn horn and defeat Voldemort, but does that really mean that you have to blend them together with every other healthy food you can get your cave man hands on? I mean, I like cucumber, but I don't put it in my tea every morning just for a vitamin boost. Also, the paleo diet? I understand that the cave men had it hard, only eating mammoths when they could take one down and otherwise having to eat berries and whatever else they could find for nourishment. Thankfully, we are now lucky enough to have supermarkets - and evolution has done its job, so that our bodies can now digest a smorgasbord of delicious treats – do we really have to deny evolution everything it has worked so hard to achieve?
Whilst I'm at it, let's discuss treats. Not every food needs to be a treat. It doesn't need to be you being naughty/cheeky or some other terribly misused adjective. It is food: put it in your mouth, chew and swallow - and then be grateful that the food was available to you in the first place. I don't need to hear about its protein contents, or about how much green tea you drink a day to keep your metabolism as speedy as the little mouse Gonzalez. Eat and remember, it has not been that long since our own forefathers endured subsistence living and if that doesn't bring it home to you – maybe you need to volunteer your time and smoothies to someone for whom food is not just a treat.

Back to semantics: Real. The Oxford dictionary describes 'real' as being: Actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed. So following this clearly defined linguistic blueprint, we can safely assume that any form of movement, edible substance and human condition is, in fact – 'real'. Real exercise, real food and real life (respectively). In fact, putting the adjective (or in some cases adverb) 'real' in front of things, that already existed before you added an unnecessary describing word to them, is more likely to make people question whether you just escaped the Matrix, than make them want to change their lifestyle. Harping on about how amazing all those real superfoods are, just makes people think you really need a cheeseburger and telling people to get real - to jump into real life? I must have missed my own birth there, silly me, let me just hop to it then!

I am not advocating junk food for breakfast, lunch and tea of course, or any particular diet/exercise regime for that matter - even if I did finish off last night's schnitzel for brekky. In spite of my own opinions, I do not intend to get in anyone's way. So go ahead, blend those chia seeds into every meal, suck down a questionably coloured smoothie and pay your respects to your neanderthal ancestors.

Just don't tell me about it.

Hope all is well.